If you have recently been discarded or dumped by your narcissist ex, then you are probably feeling exactly what most of their previous victims felt and what their future victims are guaranteed to experience in the near future; loneliness.
Besides the unrelenting confusion, anxiety and ptsd symptoms running a muck in your head pretty much all throughout your day, at some point you will experience a greater sense of loneliness and despair than perhaps you have ever felt in your life.
This feeling of what I’d like to call post narcissistic discard loneliness stems from all the drama, attention, battles, arguments, love bombing, intense sex, gas lighting, tantrums, lies, and nightmares you experienced while dating this monster. The entirety of it all, despite being an extremely toxic situation to be in, was overwhelming to say the least. So overwhelming in fact that life may seem a little less exciting now that the narcissist is gone.
However, this type of psychological torment takes time to understand and even more time to heal from. The loneliness you are feeling after being discarded by your narcissist ex is normal and it’s will eventually subside. It’s ok to temporarily feel this way, it’s all part of the process and things will get so much better in the months to come.
Despite your current feelings of loneliness, I promise you that once you heal from this trauma and regain your strength and power back, you will deem this discard as the best thing that could’ve happened to you because the alternative would have you STILL BEING IN A RELATIONSHIT WITH THE NARCISSIST. (that’s not a typo)
However, be warned that the narcissist knows you are feeling lonely after the discard and they anticipate your loneliness will lead you to turn back to them for help. It’s like the Stockholm syndrome where the victim feels their tormentors are the only ones that can heal them from the very same pain they are creating.
This is the Narcissist’s Trap.
If you can’t handle the feelings of loneliness right now and you are tempted to contact your narcissist ex, you are inviting an even greater doom into your current state of misery. It’s like the drug addict or alcoholic who cannot handle the withdrawal symptoms so they turn back to the very same substance that caused their demise.
If you’re feeling loneliness after being discarded by a narcissist the best thing to do is to get out of the house and surround yourself with friends, family and/or loved ones. Get out into nature. Take walks in the park where there are a lot of people. Yes it might still feel lonely to see all those people enjoying themselves but that’s a lot healthier than isolating at home alone in unstable conditions.
While I’m not one to ever condone vices, this might be a good time to treat yourself to a nice dinner, book that vacation you always wanted to go on, or responsibly shop for those shoes you’ve had your eye on for a while. The brain needs to be stimulated with happy feelings. It’s been deprived of dopamine after the narcissist stopped their love bombing tactics and began devaluing your every existence.
It’s ok to go to a movie by yourself or a concert, or spend a quite evening at the bookstore. Perhaps a day at the spa sounds intriguing. Get a make over. Change your wardrobe. It’s time to rebuild what the narcissist destroyed and rise out of the darkness into a whole new world of light, love, and excitement!
Next time you are feeling lonely after being discarded by your narcissist ex, remember that:
- It’s normal to feel this way after the discard phase.
- The intense loneliness will subside with time as you grow and heal from this toxic experience.
- In this vulnerable state, you must be sure NOT to have ANY contact with the narcissist or they will continue to prey on your emotions.
ARE YOU A VICTIM OF A PSYCHOPATH NARCISSIST?
Narcissist abuse is a perpetual nightmare not many can wake up from. The anxiety, trauma and PTSD can last a lifetime if one does not properly cut ties with their psychopathic tormentor and follow through with a specific plan for recovery.
However, this path can be a mystery to most victims of narcissists who’ve been discarded and dismantled. That’s why I’ve put together a step-by-step guide that will show you how to take the first step in establishing boundaries between you and your abuser. Study this guide carefully and do exactly what it says, especially if you have been recently discarded and left to rot by your narcissist ex.
These were the first instructions my mentor gave me back when I too was in hell; gasping for air from the suffocating panic and bed ridden anxiety my psychopath ex had left me in. I followed his guidance to the tee and instantly felt life breathing back into my soul… as will YOU when you follow these easy steps.
The information in this guide is crucial to your mental health and recovery. Do not hesitate or risk another minute of your life drifting into oblivion at the hands of a psychopath narcissist.
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I broke off w/ my ex-narcissist girlfriend 5 mths ago. All I can say is Wow, what a nightmare! I really took the bait in this 2.5 year drama filled insecurity driven relationship. Her 20 year marriage ended, she said that her ex was crazy and he may of been but she caused some of it I’m sure. She acted very timid, insecure and very dependent about everything, which is what baited me. Poor girl of twins, miss treated by e-husband, financially, emotionally, physically and sexually. Here were some 1st signs that she is not normal: 1) Found condoms in her dresser, I don’t need them I had a vasectomy, her excuse was, they have been their for a long time.
2) She had an affair before we met with the President of her division (Miami) at work in Boston, then she said she found out he was married, so changed divisions, but still speaks to him a lot. When I questioned it, she would not do anything about and used the excuse that he could get her fired from her $155K yr job. My guess is he got her that job and that’s why she slept with him and probably still did when she was with me (I’m in Florida she Is in Boston) and 100% certain now.
3) She cried and complained about her ex-husbands ongoing abuse but would never do anything about, until I said enough is enough, she agreed to file a legal restraining order, took day off work then never followed through. When I finally said I had enough Drama, confusion and wore out with her emotional life and said I’m done, she turned on me the next day and has never spoken to me except for a few e-mails to tell me not to communicate. I was e-mailing to find out the truth, I was shocked that after 2.5 years, and I will still say (might still be the narcissist drug she gave me) I received NO answers what-so-ever she just moved on. Never dealt with this type of thing and have learned a lot. Not sure what she had, Trama, emotional, sexual, physical abuse issues but the more I read on Narcissistic personalities the more she fit the profile. The hardest thing was when she just discarded me like trash, when I was there for her emotional roller-coaster ride for 2.5 years, Wow what a heartbreak, not for her really but why I let myself get pulled in to this ruthless mind game. Anyway, lots better now so your right, it does get better and you feel like a 5,000 weight was lifted off you. Thanks for the insight and I hope my store helps. Anyone reading this in the Boston area, stay away from Lynn Newton @ Liberty Mutual Insurance Diversity & Inclusion. Parts of me still fill sorry for her just because I still don’t know the truth, but I knew I had to get out!
Thank you for sharing your experience with us Brian! Your horror story sounds very familiar and I’m sure it’s going to help a lot of victims and survivors in this community. Getting everything out in detail like you did is quite therapeutic and self validating (which is vital to our survival after a discard) I’m sure there are many more stories to tell during those 2.5 years. Feel free to share your experiences and realizations with us anytime my friend. You have our support.
Hi,
If someone reads this and it changes their life or future in ANY way…I would be happy to share this info that is 100 true. I know because I was in a 20 yr marriage to a psychopath and got OUT.
1. PATHOLOGY IS FOREVER.
They can not change .
2. A person can be colorblind
A psychopath is EMOTIONALLY / EMPATHYblind
This means they will destroy yours.
3. Serial killers kill humans
.a psychopath kills you emotionally.
THEY ARE JUST AS DANGEROUS.
4. Do not put human emotions
On that which is NOT HUMAN.
5. I believe I’m you….you will escape and have a awesome future in front of you.
Why? I did it and so can you!!!!!!
K
Married to a psychopath 20 yrs
Now working towards healing.
It has been 2.5 years since i was cruely tossed out. I struggled to keep it going.
She was a very disturbed women with many hidden issues. The emotional torment was frequent. About 45 times i was subjected to verbally brutal onslaughts with a smile too. Schizophrenic behaviour. Betrayal threats and betrayal in the first year.
Second year continued with twisted statements and rages. Third year was me just collapsing and disconnecting without any ambition and direction. (I was always successful and ambitious)
4 th year was continual threats and her statement to leave me and replace me while still together…5 th year was me in denial and surrendering to her psycho coercion while in love. I had lost my active memory of the abuse and had no strategy to cope with life.
I was and am schocked still.
No communications for a long time….i was ghosted….3 months…used and abused….i tried to make contact but it was futile. Always busy…busy…busy.
I did not know of treatment for her. She was non responsive to my many attempts to change. I suffered and she got angry and used holidays to devalue me.