Getting closure from a psychopath is a feat not many can achieve for it is an unrealistic accomplishment considering the facts. You have a better chance at spotting a shooting star, remembering to make a wish and that wish actually coming true.
However despite the near impossible odds, there really is a way to get closure from a narcissist or psychopath. It’s just not the type of closure you are used to or the one you feel you deserve.
Well first of all, what exactly is closure?
Closure is when both parties can honestly say they parted ways from each other and achieved some sort of finality from the relationship. There are no loose ends or reasons to look back anymore.
Among normal healthy human beings, even when a marriage or relationship is severed in bad terms, BOTH parties need that sense of closure in order to move on with their lives and they both tend to help each other achieve it.
Since there was actually love in that relationship, it’s not difficult to give each other the closure and blessings along their way.
But this is not something that’s achievable when dealing with a psychopath and they know this too well so they use that need against you.
If you truly want to get closure from a narcissist or psychopath ex there are a few things you will need to understand.
- The psychopath narcissist will purposely rob you from closure as yet another form of torture and punishment for any type of narcissistic injuries they experienced while in relationship with you.
- You will be mocked for asking such things from them and will look weak in their eyes.
- Whatever type of closure or explanation you expect to get from them will be a word salad of confusing and trauma infusing lies that will only hurt you deeper.
- The psychopath will test you and manipulate the situation to where instead of you wanting closure, you will want THEM back in your life.
If the narcissist feels that you are ready to move on they will make it a point to prove to you and to themselves that you still NEED them. This is how they test your will and resolve.
At this point you can expect another layer of manipulation and dark negotiations which will blind side you and set you back so far it will feel like you are starting over.
In order to pass the psychopath’s test, one has to maintain the course and not only avoid asking them for closure, but avoid communicating with them as much as possible. Once the relationship is over, NO CONTACT must be established.
Remember your psychopath ex has already groomed their new victim, long before the two of you broke up. They are not sad, lonely or despaired at the severing of your relationship and chances are, you were unexpectedly discarded.
So what type of closure from a narcissist can we truly expect to receive?
The only real closure you expect to get from a psychopath or narcissist is the closure you make for yourself by understanding and accepting that you were dating or married to a monster and that relationship was never real.
This may not be the answer you were hoping to hear but it’s the one that will speed up the healing process and give you back the honor, self respect, and validation you deserve for surviving such a nightmare.
This piece of information has been vital for many victims and serves as the turning point where one finally lets go of their tormentor and closes off the doors to them forever.
This is why it’s imperative that we continue to educate ourselves on how these predators operate, understand their disorder, and learn to recognize their behavioral patterns.
Only then can we build the strength and confidence we need to protect ourselves from these toxic individuals and begin taking back our lives!
ARE YOU A VICTIM OF A PSYCHOPATH NARCISSIST?
Narcissist abuse is a perpetual nightmare not many can wake up from. The anxiety, trauma and PTSD can last a lifetime if one does not properly cut ties with their psychopathic tormentor and follow through with a specific plan for recovery.
However, this path can be a mystery to most victims of narcissists who’ve been discarded and dismantled. That’s why I’ve put together a step-by-step guide that will show you how to take the first step in establishing boundaries between you and your abuser. Study this guide carefully and do exactly what it says, especially if you have been recently discarded and left to rot by your narcissist ex.
These were the first instructions my mentor gave me back when I too was in hell; gasping for air from the suffocating panic and bed ridden anxiety my psychopath ex had left me in. I followed his guidance to the tee and instantly felt life breathing back into my soul… as will YOU when you follow these easy steps.
The information in this guide is crucial to your mental health and recovery. Do not hesitate or risk another minute of your life drifting into oblivion at the hands of a psychopath narcissist.
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I am newly/quickly divorced from a narcissist. Only three months separated. She and her children from a prior marriage, moved into a new apartment and the next door neighbor guy had a kid and is going thru a divorce as well. She is already in a relationship with him.
I was her fourth marriage (and divorce) and her 6th adult relationship that I know of.
I was unsure of divorcing and started to back peddle which only fed her ego. She loved constantly telling me she was no longer in love with me. Just two weeks prior to separating she told me she was still in love with me. Admitted later to lying so she didn’t hurt me.
You described her almost perfectly in you description of a female narcissist.
With her- She’s beautiful, but does not go for good looking people. In fact- when we met I was morbidly obese. She acted like she was madly in love. I have an outgoing personality and a lot of friends and I feel that’s what attracted her as she has no friends at all.
She has the fake boobs and dresses like a knock out.
She is mean as hell to workers in a store- on the phone or whatever encounter she has, if she is not satisfied or getting what she wants. She is so aggressive, almost to the point of being a bully. I would try to explain to her that shes killing the messenger but it didnt matter.
I’m an emotional wreck. Heart broken, lonely for her,my anxiety is through the roof and definately struggling with PTSD. I have been completely ghosted. and all for a person I was miserable with!
I haven’t be OK with no contact but he’s coming my flat Monday night and tap on window but I blame him and today be to a shop by my and he walk the shop and I got out first out of shop and just away and call but I just keep on walking and it’s going to be hard because he’s live down the road about 5 miles away from me but I’m still no contact with him
Hi Fellow Fighters & Survivors,
What a journey! My Psycho-Narc beat me up on my birthday, took videos of us having sex and posted them on the net, lied and lied, slept with my friends, broke my property all while smiling in my face. The mindgames were so unbelievable that I couldn’t grasp the reality of the situation. I know it’s still not over but at least I can strengthen my own personal qualities of resilience and determination against an infatigueable machine. Life really is short, so I am going to play hard. Big Love to ya’ll.
Prayer helps me. I also found it helpful to do some inner work on why I attract and/or am attracted to this personality type. A one point in my life I was codependent, but I was also raised by loving parents and my faith to be that way. So many useful videos on YouTube explain the personality disorder. I still have compassion for my narcissist, but stick up for myself and make sure I’m getting what I need from the relationship.
Bad peoplethink that kindness is stupidity. Be strong
Hi I just wanted to let you know that I have been seeking recovery from dating narcissists for years now and I’ve listened to tons of speakers I’ve read all the books and you are the first one that actually has hit home and made a difference the shit you say makes sense you put it in a way that I totally get and understand whereas the other I mean and I’ve I mean we’re talking like I don’t even know how many books articles videos all kinds of stuff all kinds of different various people but nobody throws it down like you do and I am grateful that I came upon your videos and they’re clear they’re I don’t know maybe you just speak my language but I just have to let you know that that your shit rocks and maybe everybody needs something different but it rocks for me and I finally feel some relief and it all makes sense and so it helps me a lot and I just want to thank you for that and let you know
I agree…
I was married to a “monster” for 13 years. I didn’t know what a narcissist was until a few years ago. Every single thing or video on your site was what I went through. He would create “fake fights” to go about his “supply.” “I’m going to the new hotel and I don’t want to be accused of porn or hookers.” (His exact words!) Then, the usual, Monday midnight text, “I’m coming home, I miss you…”
Me this time, “I left your things outside, I think it’s best we move on.” He did not see it coming!
To anyone reading this, it does get better 💛 I took 3 years off from dating to recover and not rush into things. Unfort, the first person I went on a few dates with, has already been giving me red flags/that gut feeling and exhibiting no empathy, narcissist ways. I am moving on from him.
But, I am Happy & trust God on His timing. Hope this helps 💛
i have been married to my wife who had a violent child hood and a 20 year marriage her ex was a psyco he would never by her new items not because he couldnt afford it it was thats what she was worth . then 6 months into her divorce she met me and we hit it off never found a women so perfect as time went on i started seeing her insucurities come out tell me i dont apriciate her and what she does we had an argument and she recked our home . as years went on everything happened was all my fault and never hers nor did she take responsibility for her actions we split up last year for 4 months i went on a dating site talked on email 3 lines and when we got back she asked me if there was anything she should know i said nope . 8 months later she went into my emails and pulled me up on it of course i didnt come clean like a jerk and lied then a week later i get an email she reads it and it was from a women she read it and packed up her car and belongings and let me shut her phone off and ghosted me 2 weeks later i found out the email was a scam it was on the internet word for word . its been 66 days and i have not herd from her we own a home a business and assets and liablitys then my so called marriage counslor/ her therapist and mine goo figure she wont tell me where she is so i can get answers … i feel my wife is the narcissist and she made me out to be the one .
any thoughts
You have been a masive help so thank you for all your videos, I’m slowly working my way through them, the emails are great too, it gives me hope there’s someone out there giving a dam about me
thanks and keep well.
My heart truly goes out to all the men and women recovering from such a nightmare! I’m 38 and I’ve always dated narcissistic men but this last ordeal really threw me for a loop. We dated for almost a year and during that time, I lost everything. When I say everything I mean that in every literal sense of the word! He made me quit my job, my son who lived at home with me OD’d and after his recovery moved back to his dad’s, I lost all my close friends because they either couldn’t stand him or became best friends with him instead, my folks quit talking to me for reasons still unknown, my vehicle was repossessed while I was in the hospital, I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and suffered 2 strokes within 6 months, and left my home to be with him while we lived out of hotels for 8 months.
I lost everything! I almost lost my own life! Right before I got out of the hospital on May 4, 2022, I was waiting for my discharge papers and my ex showed up. Still weak and discombobulated, I assumed he was there to give me a hug and take me home but instead, he starts yelling at me telling me how ridiculous I am for faking my sickness and how pathetic I am for allowing all this to happen. The nurse had to get security to see him off the premises and it was in that moment I knew this was a monster who did NOT value my life in any way, shape, or form. I was so weak, I couldn’t argue back but once my mother got there I decided to go recover at her house and get a game plan together. I knew if I didn’t love myself enough leave, no one would and I would die in a hotel somewhere with a person who would probably not think twice about it.
Come to find out, he had been entertaining a prostitute at OUR room along with his buddies the whole time I was in the hospital recovering from a stroke! A stroke I had during the last argument we had; which was over another affair I’d caught him in! He landed himself in jail on May 12, 2022 and no bond has been set so he has no choice but to sit there. He was already out on a felony bond for assault/impeding breath charge he caught during one of our fights and is facing 25 years to life. It’s been so peaceful, quiet, and predictable now that he’s being contained and what a difference that makes!!!! My heart breaks that I wasted so much time but I’m not looking back at what I should have done, I’m looking forward at what steps I need to take to be proactive in my situation. I’m taking it one day at a time and am so appreciative of what’s in front of me each and every day. I’m also learning to love myself again and not be so critical or hard on myself. I know it will take time to heal. A contributing factor that led to my ability to walk away was something my best friend mentioned while I was crying to him and trying to understand why my ex could never just apologize. My friend said, “You’re never going to get an apology because HE’S NOT SORRY.” Those words never left and they remind me of the person my ex truly is underneath the charm, the fake apologies, and the lies.
Good luck to anyone breaking away from the madness! If I can do it, anyone can! Listen to your gut instincts and don’t try to bargain or repair your “relationship.” It was a lie, it was a trick, it was deceit from the very start. Xoxo!